The Hobbit Trilogy

Well, it's over. It's done.

I said I was making a spoilers post. So this is it, my rant, post, list, thing.

Warning, this post contains opinions you may not agree with as well as various and assorted spoilers. Proceed with caution.

An Unexpected Journey.

Too much Frodo/Bilbo cameo;

 not enough dwarves;

You should know you have a pacing problem when the extended version is more bearable than the theater version.

Too much slow motion, not enough character development. (with the notable exception of Bilbo. (An argument could be made for Thorin. But I am currently trying not to care about Thorin.)

Too much of this:

Thorin: You think a night raid by orcs is a joke? (walks off to brood)

Balin: (Suddenly appears and provides seemingly random back story to Fili and Kili who should have grown up knowing this stuff.)

The Desolation of Smaug

Too much of this :

Thorin: A Dwarvish Wind-Lance.

Bilbo: You look like you've seen a ghost.

Balin: (Suddenly appears and explains everything)

Also;

 

You do know why we're here right? That whole reclaim homeland slay dragon thing?

To much Peter Jackson cameo in a flashback telling us what we already know, not enough killing dragons.

To much weird love triangle,

Not enough Dwarves

Picture drawn by This fantastic artist.

The Battle of the Five Armies

To much dramatization not enough Character development.

To much of this;

 not enough characters we actually care about. (yes the image is from The Desolation, it's still true of Five Armies though.)

Not enough Alfred dying. (yes, I actually did want this to happen.)

Too much of this;

Not enough dwarves;

(Dwarven armour is awesome people.)

To much weird elven character arcs not enough crowning Dain king under the mountain and making Bard lord of Dale.

To much climax, not enough ending.

The Series in general;

To much of this;

To much of this;

Not enough of this;

Not enough of this;

Or this;

Or this either;

And only sort of enough of this;

And I'll leave you with this. Just to prove that the movies weren't all bad.

(Though yes this is a clip from the extended edition)

If you can't play the video here try this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DjvQSCzUyE

And now if you'll excuse me I'll go try to do something slightly more productive than search gifs on the Internet.